Feeling soo frustrated!

25 05 2011

Love driving...apparently.

I’m on the brink of depression!  I hate to be so malo-dramatic, but I can’t take it.  All I’ve ever wanted to do is to have a family and wife and that’s about it.

I’d say I’m a pretty good guy.  I take care of myself…last, put everyone else before me, truly care about most people.  Don’t start giving me the psycho babble either.  I already know it because I’m telling myself the same stuff, but I’m not listening to me right now.  Focus on yourself.  Take care of yourself.  Get your life together.  I know!  But I’ve realized that I’m just not meant to be alone.

I really think God is trying to work on me, but I’m trying harder to not let Him.  UUGH!  I hate when God wants to win me back over.  It means letting go of all the stuff that I want to ruin me.  Oh well.

So this started out as a rant, but now I’m gonna try to let God do his thing.  Just pray for me.  I’m not good at being alone, I realize that’s not necessarily healthy, but I have too much love in me to not share it.  So here’s the plan.  Yikes!

I’m gonna start trying to get my career back on track.  Get a career, not a job.  I’m also going to be reading my bible more.  I’ve said that many times to little avail, but I’m gonna work on it this time.  Also, I’m going to get off dating websites.  Those just give me hope that I’ll find someone.  There’s some good people on there, but I waste my time hoping, and not letting God work.  That’s about all I can come up with.

Any suggestions?  Leave a comment, help a brother out!

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2 responses

26 05 2011
Carolina Shields

So Chris I pray for you right now! that the messages that do not match the Word ofGod be removed. That you will rely on the Holy Spirit to assist you in all that God has in store for you. You are a brave man to write all this so publicly and ask for help. Try joining Dan’s and Terry’s summer session. They are studying “Man in the Mirror”. I think it can be encouraging in the areas your are struggling in right now. I think you are aamzing and God has an amazing woman out there who will love you as much as you love her! Keep your head up.

8 06 2011
Toni

I hate being alone too. Good for you with getting back to your career, that is a good direction to go in! You are a great guy, as I know and eventually you will find a great girl as well!

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