Do you ever wonder…

19 11 2008

Do you ever wonder what people really think of you?  I wonder all the time.  I think that I am a pretty outstanding person.  Unfortuneately, that’s from the people that I talk to.  I don’t know what everyone says about me behind my back or when I’m not there.  I hear alot of people talking smack about people at work, and it always makes me wonder. 

I’ll hear someone saying stuff about someone and then all of the sudden that person walks up and it’s like they are best friends.  Now this truly doesn’t apply to anyone in particular or even remotely in particular.  It’s just something that I’ve noticed and really wish I could be a fly on the wall when I leave work.

in general though, I know that this shouldn’t even concern me.  I know where my value comes from and I know what’s in my heart.  I try to not say stuff about people that I wouldn’t say to their face and that I haven’t said to their face.  I try not to be too critical of people, and try not to bring people down.  It’s very hard though.  I know you’ve also had those times where you find yourself jumping into the conversation and just join in on the bashing of someone.  It’s not that you have something against the person, but you have stuff that iritates you and you feel the need to vent.  You can’t just vent either, you have to embelish and make it sound so much worse than it really is. 

P.S.  I never want to hear the words, “That’s not very Christian of you” in casual conversation.  I hate that phrase.  It’s also not very “Christian” of you to be judging someone in front of other people.  Pull them aside if it’s really an issue.  Sorry that was my heated rant.

So back on subject, if you are afraid or concerned about what people think of you, how do you find out?  I can’t just ask someone, because once again, they’ll have reservations about being honest no matter how bad it hurts.  Any suggestions?  I know that my wife’s class did a Jaharis window.  It was a piece of paper that they passed around and everyone got to write what they thought of the person.  Now some people took it as their chance to vent, and some actually made it constructive.  I would like to start this practice with the people that I am close to.  I would love to tell them what I think about them in a constructive way, and tell them their great traits.  It goes back to the “How are you doing?” thing.  When I ask, “what do you think about me?” I want to know honestly, in a constructive non-venting way. 

speaking_truth_in_love-resized200Now I don’t know what this book is, but I agree.

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One response

19 11 2008
Jessi

Yes, I do wonder what people say about me when I’m not around…and I guess that’s what has made me try to be more aware of what I’m saying before I say it….especially at work.
But I’ll tell ya what I think of you: 🙂 I really think you are genuinely a great person with a great spirit. I can’t speak for others, but for me, it’s easy to talk to you about almost everything and I always expect an honest and upfront opinion from you. However, sometimes I get this “guilty feeling” that arises when we’re unable to meet up somewhere…like Bible Study for instance, and I’m not entirely sure if that’s just me feeling bad for not being able to go…or if there’s a tone in your voice that kinda makes me feel that way. But I guess, no one can “make” you feel something…or can they? 🙂 But seriously Chris, you and Danielle are two very bright lights in my life and I do and will always cherish you guys for it!

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