Why is Marriage so difficult?

26 09 2008

I’ve realized lately why marriage is soo difficult.  It’s a very simple biblical principal.  Try to say that 5 times fast.  Anyways, God wants us to rely on Him.  He realizes that men and women are completely opposite.  That’s what he wants.  If it were easy it wouldn’t be special.

Here’s my new epiphany.  If relationships in general were easy and guys and girls liked the same things and thought the same way, it really wouldn’t be special.  It would be like any friendship you have with the opposite sex, without the sex, hopefully.  Honestly let’s use hypotheticals here.  If John, Mike, and Tara all got along and liked the same stuff how would it really be special.  If Tara and Mike got together and realized that they both got sexual desires met the same way (i.e. like a microwave, push the button and you’re ready to go) then sex would be easy.  But if Tara and John also had the same sexual desires, then it wouldn’t be much different between those two either.  The same goes for all things.  If Tara, John, and Mike all had the same love languages and liked to keep the house clean, and took care of the bills the same way, you just live your life, you don’t have to choose to love the other person over yourself.  When you love someone else above yourself, that’s true love.  That’s something special.  God made us different so that we have to choose to get past our own needs and look to the other person’s needs.  It’s a model that was set by Jesus.  Instead of washing His own feet or asking someone else to wash His, He washed the disciples feet saying in John 13:13-15, “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.  I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”

If marriage was easy it wouldn’t be special.  The same reason God gave us FREE WILL.  If we don’t have the choice to choose, then it’s not special.


Lately I’ve been reassessing things

6 09 2008

Have you ever noticed that when you say, “Hey how’s it goin?” you 9 out of 10 times get either a busy or good?  That’s not a greeting.  That’s saying, “Hey I don’t want to really tell you anything about what’s really going on.”  I wish that when I asked someone, they would truly tell me what’s going on.  Now I can’t expect that from everyone I meet, because someone that I don’t really know isn’t going to divulge the fact that their spouse might be cheating on them.  The people that I know and truly care about though, I would like to know what’s going on.  I was talking with one of my bosses tonight and we had a little discussion about a greeting I gave her a few days ago.  She asked, “Hey chris, how’s it goin?” and I replied, “amazing!”.  She did a double take.  “Really?  Why are you so amazing?”  I told her, “Well I’ve got a job, a wife who I’m in love with, a house, a dog, and money in my pocket!”  She’s was amazed!

If we could only realize how blessed we are.  As Americans, I think that we are so blinded by greed.  Now, this isn’t going to be a guilt speech, but a perspective check.  I truly think that we have been given so much and yet we still all feel that the world owes us more.  A little while ago when I didn’t have a job, I was thinking a little differently.  So when I have a job, I want to be thankful for every hour and dollar I get.  I am 25 years old, I own a house and have a little more than 100k left till I pay it off, NO CREDIT CARD DEBT, no car payments,  and we pay our bills every month off of one income pretty much.  Yes indeed, I am blessed.  Not only that, I have an amazingly beautiful wife who I take for granted, a strong relationship with God, an amazing church, very supportive and loving families (yes, I even love my in-laws), and a partridge in a pear tree.  What more do I really deserve?  Besides, who is giving me all this.  The same God who I hurt everytime I swear, lie, cheat, deceit, lust, gossip, and steal from.  He gave me everything.  If you can imagine real quick being the parent in the toy store where your kid wants everything.  Well, because you love your child, you say yes to things that you know he’ll break, throw away, lose, and break things with.  Your treating your child to a mini shopping spree.  You have to say no to some things like the BB gun, the Pocket bike (mini motorcycles) and so forth.  Then you get home and you say, “Ok now go clean your room so you can play with your new toys, and he just throws a temper tantrum.  Do you realize that’s what we do when we complain that we need more money, a better TV, a newer car, a better job with more benefits and so on.  We already have enough to keep us happy for years if we just get a better perspective.  We need to drop our expectations of life.  We should expect to have food, water, and shelter.  Everything else is a blessing.  I have a home (Blessing), a job (Blessing), a wife (Blessing), a car (Blessing), a computer (Blessing), a dog (Blessing), two families who love me (Blessing) (Blessing), friends (Blessing), etc.  Everything is a blessing given to us by God.  We haven’t earned anything.  You haven’t got to where you are on your own.  God has a purpose and a reason for you being where you are today.  If you haven’t excepted Him, then you’re not quite experiencing all that He has for you.  Contentment, happiness, joy, love, and peace.

Unless your this guy, I wouldn’t be complaining.  He’s probably happy that he has shoes and clothes.  What about you?  Can you be bummed that you didn’t have good enough credit to finance a 50 inch Plasma?  Or are you pissed off that your job sucks and they won’t give you a raise?  Let me ask you, “Do you have a job?” then you probably have a place of residence as well and most likely means of transportation.  Yeah, I think you’re doing alright for yourself.  LIFE DOESN’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!