Marriage Is Tricky

28 02 2008

Marriage is a tricky thing.  One minute it could be bliss, and the next, it’s the worst decision you think you ever made.  One thing marriage is for sure, is work.  The dream wedding might have taken place, but the dreams over now, it’s time to get to work.  That’s what marriage is too, work.  It’s not easy, but you can work through it.  It’s a lot less painful than divorce is though.  That’s why God hates divorce.  It’s not the people that He hates.  He hates divorce because He knows how much pain it causes us.

What is the main cause of divorce?  Adultery?  Finances?  If you really think about it, it’s actually really simple.  Selfishness.  “My husband isn’t fulfilling my needs as a woman!”  “She spends all of MY money!”  I know it’s not a new concept, but it sures seems to be something that most people are overlooking or not willing to fix.  So, how do you combat Selfishness?  Selflessness!  Understand husbands and wives, your spouse doesn’t owe you a thing!  The sooner you understand that, the easier things will get.

As Danielle and I have gone through marriage counseling, before and after we got married, we’ve taken a good long look at what God says is the right way to do marriage.  Also, understand what Marriage is.  It’s a choice you made to Love your husband/wife till death do you part.  Notice it’s not, “Love your husband/wife until you don’t feel like you love each other any more.  We have this notion that LOVE is a feeling.  Love is a choice.

Men:If you chooseto do the laundry for your wife, and watch the kids for her so she can go shopping without the kids on a leash, take a nap together, buy her roses, tell her she’s beautiful, kiss her behind the ear and whisper “I love you”.  She’ll love it.  You know what she’ll do for you?  Who cares, look at you being selfish again!  “If I do this for her, she’ll do something for me, right?”  If you do those things for her with that as your driving motivation, you’ll be dissappointed.  She’s human and just as selfish as you are.

Dogs sleeping together Sometimes, just being together is the best thing you can do for each other.

Women: If you choose to have a meal prepared for him when he gets home, see how his day went, see if you guys can take the dog for a walk, give him a back rub, initiate a night a mattress mambo.  Do these things because you know that he’ll love it.  Do the small things for him.  Don’t expect anything in return though.  It’s very easy to get into that trend of “well I did this, so what are you going to do for me?”.  Do it because you choose to love him everyday.

Try it for a while and see how it works out for ya.  Fulfill each other’s needs without expecting anything in return.

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One response

1 09 2008
Wendee

I just got teary. seriously though..

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