I’ve been trying to figure God out. He’s not easy. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to figure Him out. His ways and idea of time are crazy.
So I’ve been thinking about my relationship and how God fits into it. Since about 19 I’ve been trying to seek out God. As time goes by I’ve been growing closer and closer to Him. Just when I think I’ve got things figured out, God throws a curveball. I don’t even believe that He throws a curveball as much as I’ve been sinning or going through the motions and not really seeing what God has been throwing me. My life seems to go in all directions and when I look back it looks like a curveball.
Anyways, I’ve been trying to fit Him in a box and figure Him out. I see Him working in a few ways. Let’s take 2 examples. The first, a little girl getting raped. A horrible, horrible experience. I see two individuals, one who is sinning and the other is not necessarily sinning, but we don’t know. I see a horrible tradgic thing, but God can still use that for good. That girl can go on and save the lives of many young girls who have gone through the same thing. Let’s now take divorce. Divorce is a tricky thing. I don’t see how 2 people after God’s heart, could get a divorce. I don’t see how years down the road, God could use that to better someones life. You’ve already given your virginity to that person, and you’re sacred relationship to them. It’s as if you were joined with the person at marriage, then as you get a divorce you need to remove the left portion of you’re ribcage and move on to complete someone else. You’re mangled and not whole, but yes you can find someone else, you will never be whole though. You’ll always be missing that part of you. You can never get it back. Who knows though. Maybe that’s not how it really works, maybe God can fully and truly renew you. I don’t think so, but God isn’t someone that I truly understand yet. He is always surprising me with new things and new ways of teaching me valueable lessons.
I guess you couldn’t ever figure out God. If so that would be putting Him into too small of a box. He’s bigger than any box we could ever imagine. I always want to chase Him and know what He has for my life, but He’ll never be understood. I don’t even think when we get to heaven we’ll understand Him.
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